working it out...

So, it has been a month on lower dose of meds and things are looking good!

I should not have jumped to conclusions so early about it not working, but I am glad I gave myself that extra time to see how it played out.

My head feels clear and sadness free so will stick with it for as long as I can, thank you very much!

For those of you that have told me how much you enjoy my blog I want to thank you so much.  It really does mean alot to know that people are actually reading my ramblings and getting something from it.

I really am so grateful to have an audience and to know that I have helped some of you through your own journeys...

On another positive note, I had a fabulous chat with my mum over the weekend.  When I was in my late teens/early twenties, my family went through some major upheavals and my parents split for a couple of years.  

She recognises the effect that all of that had on me (and my brother) now.   Well, things have happened in the past and I can't change them, neither can she for that matter, but it is good to get the acknowledgement of how it has affected you.  Parents splitting up hurts children of any age, however if she was to give anyone advice it would be to get your children into counselling for it because (her words) it will affect them both emotionally and physically, especially if there was another party involved. 

I nearly fell off my chair when she said that.  I mean, WOW.  She had tears in her eyes and then I saw how the sum of all of it affected her too.  Hindsight really is a bugger of a beautiful thing isn't it?!?

I am not sure if my parents split and the reasons for it were the start of or reason for my depression, but it was certainly a huge catalyst.  Certainly the events leading up to the eventual split played a huge part and I remember feeling like my whole world as I knew it was torn apart, ripped from my reality in tiny, unrecognisable pieces.

I am not sure if my parents read my blog to be honest, so I am trying hard not to reveal too much in case they do because it is not just my story to be told and I feel like I might need their permission to actually tell the story, epsecially as they are back together now and have been for a long time.  Telling this story might cause old wounds to resurface...for all of us...  They may not see how telling our story may help other people learn from our mistakes like I do...  maybe one day...

Anyway, it is moments like I had with my mum on Sunday that help us heal, help us move forward, bring us together.  (It's your turn next dad!)  Keep the lines of communication open and great things can happen.

Yours open and willing to work it out,

               Mummy in Disguise
                                                      xoxo