But I want it all NOW!!!

All I want is to make a difference...

Somehow.  Somewhere.  Some time.  To someone.


I want to be able to help people live healthy, happy, harmonious lives.

But shouldn't I do that for myself first?  Shouldn't I lead by example, and create that kind of life for myself, for my family, before jumping headlong into doing it for others?

Yes, of course I should.  Actually, I am working on it.



But I want to follow my dreams NOW!
I even know how to get there, hard work and all!   I even have a business name and bare bones business plan....PLEASE! Please? 

And then I remember life.  You know - the everyday stuff that is...life.  And money.     

Generally you need money to follow your dreams. 

a) I need money to start the course(s) I want to do.
b) I need a job to get money.
c) It looks like I also need a car to get a job that suits or fits in with the other stuff in my life (kids/ballet/cricket/home) - they all either require a car or are located too far away or public transport won't get me back to school pick up in time, etc.

Then there is the debt we have to pay off.  Oh yeah, and bills!

We are not in any crazy debt by any means, but I am pretty sure my husband would prefer we pay off a chunk of the credit card before we commit ourselves to anymore debt such as buying a second car, or course fees!

Boring!  Dreams are so much more fun!

So, what to do - besides get a job?

Can I still make a difference in the meantime?
Can I make a start on helping people live a healthy and happy life?  

YES.  In fact, I think I've already started...  When I started this blog, people wrote to me and told me how I have helped them.  When I started learning about food and good nutrition, people would ask me for advice - or I'd give it unsolicited and occassionally not offend someone... 

I still have my blog, and though my audience is not huge, as long as I have access to a computer, I can continue to tell my story.  For this journey is a work in progress and the nature of my mind is such that I may not always be healthy and happy myself, so I have to work at it everyday.  Sharing my struggles and how I get through them - this is how I can help.  For now.     

If my story resonates with someone else enough for them to make a change in their life, then I have made a difference.  If my story gets you talking about your story, then I have made a difference.  If you quit sugar and eat more walnuts, then I have made a difference!!

We can all make a difference by continuing to talk about depression - openly and without fear of judgement or reprise.  We can all make a difference by being teachers to those who don't understand or still hold ridiculous, backward views about mental illness.  We can teach them that there is nothing to be ashamed of if there is something wrong with your brain, the same as if you break a leg, or need your appendix removed.  

As long as we keep on talking about mental illness, we can make a difference in someone elses life.  I have said this from the start, and I stand by it now.  

No stigma.  No worries. 

I can make more of a difference later.  When I have the money, time and qualifications to do the kind of more I want to do.  I can still dream too - make them clearer, bigger, better!

Now, where's the paper?  I gots to find me a job!  

Yours dreaming big,

                Mummy in Disguise
                                                      xoxo